(Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Body)
Which is somewhat of a misnomer because I’m still learning this, and it’s a lesson that needs to be repeated multiple times. And also because I never really stop worrying, haha.
Last night was my 1st wedding dress fitting, and it both was and wasn’t what I expected all rolled into one experience. This fitting had been a benchmark in my mind for a long time. Even though I’ve joined a gym and have been working with a trainer for months, I stayed away from scales and stayed away from clothes shopping. “The 1st dress fitting,” I told myself “will be a sign of my success.” I secretly hoped my size 16 dress ordered back in April would need alterations, because that meant that I was dropping weight and getting close to my goals.
Instead, the dress fit my body just as perfectly as it did back in April, hugging every curve and looking like it was meant for me alone. And as happy as I am to have found such an amazing dress, I couldn’t help but listen to the little voice of disappointment in the back of my brain. “You’ve failed,” it said. “You’ve spent countless hours and hundreds of dollars and aren’t any smaller than you were before.”
But then I took a second look at myself. I remembered what really mattered- getting married to an amazing man, and looking fabulous even in my size 16 body. I thought about the fact that the majority of my work-outs have been strength training. I saw the muscles developing in my arms that weren’t there before. I felt strong. I felt healthier. I looked fantastic in this dress.
So who cares what size it is? It’s perfect for me and that’s what matters. No alterations needed!